Shrek, Inuyasha Style
by Kiss of Allure
Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek,and read the story to find out the rest
1. Chapter 1

_Shrek, Inuyasha Style  
_By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek,and read the story to find out the rest  
_Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit_

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The story opens upon a small shack in the adventurous times of Feudal Japan. The shack belongs to a half demon named Inuyasha. Because of his half breed heritage, Inuyasha lived in self exile. Many of the minor demons who were quite harmless and friendly lived among the humans peacefully. However, this was all about to change due to a certain Prince Kouga.

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A lone leather bound book lays in the darkness. Opening by itself, a beautiful tune plays as someone begins to read its tale aloud.

"Once upon a time there was a lovely Priestess. She was greatly loved-" The page was turned.

"-but she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort. This horrible enchantment could only be broken by True Love's First Kiss." The next page was turned.

"She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon demon."

"Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed."

"She waited in the dragons keep; in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss." The reader scoffed and threw the book out of the tree he was sitting in and into the water below.

"Yeah, right. Like _that's_ ever going to happen." The figure jumped from the tree and he came into view. He was a tall young man... er, half demon. He had a fit body covered by a red hoari and white hakama. He had silver dog ears sticking out of his long, flowing silver hair. His hands and feet were tipped with claws, his mouth was complete with fangs and he had beautiful golden eyes. Looking down he shook a leaf off his foot and stood proudly with his hands hooked into his belt.

He looked over to his home. It was an average sized haphazardly built log cabin complete with overgrown weeds, ferns and other wildlife. Inuyasha sighed happily at the home he was proud of with a look of contentment on his face.

Inuyasha took a nearby bucket and, after removing his clothes, jumped into the dirty pond he had thrown the book into. It could have been easily cleaned, but it never bothered him so he just left it. He made a grand splash and resurfaced spitting water everywhere. He ripped out some soap weed by the shore and lathered his body with it. When he got out he somehow looked cleaner. No one ever knew how he did it. It was one of those unsolved mysteries of life.

Once he was dressed he skipped over the pond as close as he could get to the surface and picked a large fish out of the water with cat-like grace. He looked at it, satisfied with its size, and threw it in the bucket with a little water. Next he hunted. Stalking his prey with natural stealth he was able to easily catch an animal that would last him for a day or two. He dropped his food off at home and walked to the edge of his property. He began to mark his scent around his territory so that the minor demons would stay away. Meanwhile...

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In the nearby village several of the inhabitants had been spending all day preparing to capture the half demon that lived in the shack not too far out of the town. Lately, many posters had been posted around the kingdom calling for all the minor demons running around to be captured and turned into the nearest military encampment. There was a special reward for any half demons that were caught. The villagers formulated their plans in the dirt with sticks before grabbing spears, pitchforks and torches.

Back at Inuyasha's cabin he was leaning back in his lay-z-boy reclining chair. He was munching on the fish he had caught earlier and had just finished cooking after building a fire.

The village men were seen running through the forest with their spears and pitchforks up and torches alit.

Inuyasha's ears perked up and twitched at the distant sounds of a disturbance in his surroundings and he got up and walked over to the window. A dark look crossed his face when he recognised the noise as the men from the village. Inuyasha stepped back, slipping into the shadows.

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A group of ten villagers were standing in the cover of some bushes overlooking the half demon's house.

"Think it's in there?" one villager muttered.

"All right! Lets get it!" a man started charging, but was stopped by another villager.

"Woah, hold on. Do you have any idea what that thing can, and probably will, do to you?" The second man asked.

"Yeah," another one butted in, "it'll cut you up and feed you to its children." The villagers jumped and turned around as someone chuckled heartily.

"Yes, well actually, that would be a bird demon." Inuyasha stated. The villagers all gasped and backed up a bit.

"Now dog demons-- They're much worse. They'll let you go and chase you down for their amusement."

"No!" one of the men cried.

"They'll rip out your intestines!" Inuyasha began to advance on the men and they, in turn, began to back away. "Squeeze the blood out of your heart!" He said, making motions with his hands to heighten the effect. He paused with a thoughtful look on his face. "I've heard it's quite good fresh."

"Back! Back, beast!" A man cried leaping forward with his torch and waving it in Inuyasha's face. "Back! I warn you!"

The half-demon had a look of amusement on his face as he moved forward with his demon speed and closed his hand around the flickering light of the torch, putting it out before the man hurt someone. The men gasped and the man who held the previously lit torch said, "Right," in a quavering voice as he dropped it on the ground.

Inuyasha drew in large breath and roared at the men. They all screamed in terror; stopping abruptly to freeze in place. Inuyasha roared until the torches had all been put out. The men stood in their places, frozen and unable to move for fear of death by the monster. Seeing the men weren't going to move Inuyasha leaned forward and whispered, "Boo." He also curled his upper lip so that one of his fangs protruded and glinted in the moonlight. The men ran away quickly, some dropping their 'weapons' in their haste.

Inuyasha stood there laughing as he watched them leave. "And stay out!" he called after them. Then he noticed a piece of parchment on the ground. He picked it up and read it aloud. "Wanted. Lesser and half demons." The half demon sighed and threw the parchment back on the ground as he returned to his house.

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It was day. There were carts of lesser demons being carted off by wolf demons and men working together. There were all sorts of demons. Cat demons, bug demons, bird demons, squirrel demons, bat demons, pig demons, ox demons... you name it, it was there.

At a table a bear demon was being sold.

"Give me that!" One of the wolves yanked the pillow out of the bear's grasp. "Your sleeping days are over." The bear was taken to a cart and it's seller was given money.

A small child kitsune, who was disguised as a mushroom was being held in a powerful thunder demon named Manten's arms. He looked around at the many other demons being carried away. A family of fish demons were being separated into jars and you could hear the children screaming "Momma!" while other demons were crying as they were being locked up in various carts.

"Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again!" Shippo pleaded in a hushed whisper. "Please! Give me another chance!

"Oh shut up," the powerful demon said in irritation. He was about to hit the kitsune but stopped as they moved ahead in the line because the wolf at the table called "Next!"

Another man stepped forward with a moth demon cocoon. "I've got this," the old man said.

"I'm a butterfly!" it yelled as it broke out of it's cocoon, but was quickly captured by one of the men.

"Five shillings for the deranged bug. Take it away."

"Master, please! Don't let them do this!" the moth called out. The master did not do anything and let one of the men take the moth away. "Help me!" the moth cried.

"Next. What have you got?"

"Well, I've got a kitsune," Manten said as he dropped the mushroom on the table.

"Right," the wolf said skeptically. "Well, that's good for ten shillings... if you can prove it.

"All right, little fella. Show them your fox magic." The kitsune remained a mushroom and sat still on the table.

"Well?"

"Oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous." Manten spoke sweetly. "He's really quite a handful." Manten's voice lost it's sweet tone as he turned on the mushroom. "Do something, you boneheaded dolt--" The wolf interrupted him.

"That's it. I've seen enough. Guards!"

"Hey, no! He is a fox! Really, he is!" Monten cried desperately. He picked up the mushroom and made it dance. "I'm a fox. I'm a great fox. I'm the greatest damned fox you ever saw."

The wolf made a little circle with his finger around his temple. "Get him out of my sight."

"No! No, I swear!" Manten was being pulled away by a wolf and a human. "He is a fox!" When Manten was being pulled away he kicked the mushroom and it flew into the air, using his fox magic to keep him afloat. Shippo popped back into his fox form and floated for a moment. "Hey! I can fly!" he exclaimed.

"He can fly!" Said a bird demon.

"He can fly!" Three pig demons echoed.

"He's a fox!" The wolf at the table cried in dismay as he began to stand.

"Ha, ha! That's right idiot! Now I'm a flying foxy fox!" The kit chuckled some more. "You might have seen a fox, or even a foxy lady, but I bet you've never seen a foxy fox. Ha, ha!" Unfortunately the fox's triumph was cut short as he began descending from the air, his magic too weak to support him.

"Uh-oh," he said before he plopped on the ground.

"Sieze him!" The wolf ordered and the guards tackled the kit, but he managed to wriggle out of their grasping hands and ran into the forest.

"After him! He's getting away!" Shippo ran through the woods, over a rock, under a fallen tree, and made a right. He looked back to see where his pursuers were when he ran into something hard. He gasped as he looked up at the half demon who'd turned around to see what had bumped into him.

"Get him! This way! Turn!" Shippo was about to run away from the Inuyasha but he looked back the men were right behind him. Between them and this guy, he chose this guy and ran behind him for protection.

The guards and wolf stopped as they came upon the half demon. Inuyasha pulled a stern face and stood up tall to face the trespassers.

"You there. Half breed!" The wolf called nervously.

"Hn?"

"By the order of Lord Kouga, I am authorized to place you both under arrest..." the wolf told Inuyasha. His voice became shakey and he began to falter as Inuyasha stalked over to them.

"...and transport you to a designated... resettlement... facility?"

"Oh, really?" Inuyasha asked in a falsely cheerful voice. "You and what army?" The wolf looked back to see that his men had all run away. The wolf gasped then ran away whimpering with his tail between his legs. Inuyasha left without a second thought to the chuckling kit.

The small kitsune noticed the half demon leaving and spoke up. "Can I say something to you?" Getting no reply, he continued on.

"You were really, really something back there. Really incredible!" The kitsune was running around Inuyasha who couldn't see him, only hear him.

"Are you talkin' to--" Inuyasha turned around to deal with the kit, but he suddenly wasn't there. "-me?" Inuyasha raised a well formed silver eyebrow and turned around to face a cute little kitsune standing in front of him. "Whoa!"

Shippo continued to talk in a rushed voice like nothing was out of the ordinary. "Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you were great back there? Those guards!" Shippo was trying to stay in front of Inuyasha to talk to him but he just kept walking. "They thought they were just so great. Then you showed up, and bam! They were tripping over themselves like cubs in the woods. See, that really made me feel good to see that."

"Oh, that's great." Inuyasha said apathetically. Shippo just kept talking a mile a minute.

"Man, it's good to be free."

"Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?" Inuyasha asked in a low growl, not stopping his forward motion

"But, I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there all by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you." Shippo caught up.

"You're a mean, green,demon fighting machine. Together we'll scare the youki out of any demon that crosses us." Inuyasha growled low in his chest, took a deep breath, and roared in Shippo's face. Shippo, much to Inuyasha's dismay, was not frightened.

"Oh, wow! That was really scary." Inuyasha threw up his arms in exasperation and began to stalk away. "If you don't mind me saying, if that doesn't work, your breath certainly will get the job done. You definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath stinks!"

Shippo popped out upside down from a log, surprising Inuyasha. "You almost burned the hair out of my nose. It reminds me of the time--" Inuyasha covered Shippo's mouth but he still kept talking. Inuyasha sighed and removed his hand.

"Then I ate some rotten berries. I sure did have some strong gases eking out of my butt that day." Shippo continued like he wasn't interrupted.

"Why are you following me?" The half demon asked in exasperation.

"I'll tell you why." Shippo jumped down from the log and began to sing,

_'Cause I'm all alone.  
__There's no one here beside me.  
__My problems are all gone,  
__There's no one to deride me.  
__But you gotta have freedom--_

"Stop singing!" Inuyasha shouted. He picked up the kit by the tail. "It's no wonder you don't have any friends."

"Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest."

"Listen, little kitsune--"

"Shippo."

"Listen, Shippo. Take a look at me. What am I?

"Uh--" Shippo looked up at Inuyasha and guessed, "Really tall?"

"No! I'm a half-breed. You know 'Grab your torch and pitchforks.' Doesn't that bother you?"

Shippo shook his head. "Nope."

"Really?" Inuyasha asked in sincere surprise.

"Really, really."

"Oh," was all Inuyasha had to say.

"Dog, I like you. What's your name?"

"Uh, Inuyasha."

"Inuyasha? Hmm... Well, you know what I like about you, Inuyasha? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I really like that. I respect that. You're all right." They stopped walking as they came to a little hill that overlooked the swamp and Inuyasha's house.

"Whoo! Look at that. Who would want to live in a dump like that?" Shippo asked.

"That would be my home." Inuyasha stated and stated walking towards said house. Shippo frowned in dismay and changed his attitude immediately.

"Oh! And it is just lovely! Beautiful! You are quite the decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget." Shippo paused, glancing at a rock on the hill. "I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder."

Down near the house Inuyasha passed a couple of handmade 'keep out' signs. Shippo paused to look at them. "I guess you don't entertain much, do you?"

"I like my privacy."

"You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, I hate it when you have somebody all in your face. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big awkward silence, you know." Shippo paused an seemed to realize that said silence was occuring at that very moment. He suddenly blurted out, "Can I stay with you?"

"Uh, what?"

"Can I stay with you... please?"

"Of course!" Inuyasha said sarcastically.

"Really?" Shippo perked up.

"No."

"Please! I don't wanna go back there!" Shippo whined, as he jumped up on Inuyasha's shoulder. "You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak." Shippo paused, thinking for a moment. "Well... maybe, you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You just have to let me stay, please!"

"Okay, okay!" Inuyasha gave in. "But for one night only."

"Oh, thank you Inuyasha!" Shippo ran inside the house and jumped onto a chair.

"Oi! What are you... No!" he cried as he watched Shippo jump on the chair.

"This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swapping demonic stories, and in the morning I'm going to be making waffles."

"Oi!" Inuyasha made a motion like he was strangling something.

"So, uh... where do I sleep?" Shippo asked looking around.

"Outside!" Inuyasha yelled as he pointed to make it all the more clear.

"Oh. Well, I guess that's cool." Shippo sniffed dramatically, looking sad and lonely. "I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me. So I guess outside is best, you know."

He sniffled again. "Here I go. Going to sleep outside. In the cold. And the dark," he said as he slowly made his way outside. "Good night," Shippo said with a sigh.

"I mean... I do like the outdoors. I'm a kitsune. I was born outside."

Inuyasha sighed.

"I'll just be sitting by myself outside, in the cold and dark. Just sitting by myself outside." Shippo began to sing again in a sad mournful tone,

_I'm all alone.  
__There's no one here beside me..._

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AN: Well here is the first chapter of my crossover, hope you enjoyed it. I would greatly appriciate any ideas for making it more Inuyasha-ish, as in the events, not characters.

Credit to Kushielle for wonderfully beta-ing my story (after much whining and naggingxp)


	2. Chapter 2

_Shrek, Inuyasha Style  
_By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek,and read the story to find out the rest  
_Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit_

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Inuyasha was setting the table for himself for dinner. His leftover stew was simmering over the fire and he was about to sit down, satisfied at how his meal looked, when Shippo crossed his thoughts. He looked to the door as if contemplating letting the kit in, but shook his head and sat down. Inuyashaflexed his handsand dug into his food.

Shippo was looking through the window, sadly watching Inuyasha dine. He looked away at how happy Inuyasha was in his solitary life and jumped off the window to go lie back down at the front of the door.

A handful of stew was almost in Inuyasha's mouth but was put down when he heard a door creak open.

Inuyasha sighed. "I thought I told you to stay outside." He stood up to go check the door.

"I am outside," came Shippo's response as he jumped up to look in the window. Inuyasha turned around in time to catch a shadow dance across the wall. He walked back over to the table, looked under.

"Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?" There were three blind mice demons walking around on his table.

"It's not home, but it'll do just fine," said another as he knocked a jar of pickles over.

"What a lovely bed," the third one exclaimed from on Inuyasha's animal pelt. Inuyasha swiped at the mouse and yelled, "Got ya." When he opened his hand there was nothing there, the mouse demon had gotten on his shoulder.

"I found some cheese," it called, biting into Inuyasha's cute puppy ear.

"Ow!" he cried, swiping over his head.

"Blah! Awful stuff." The mouse demon jumped off Inuyasha's head and onto a loaded bone of stew that shot some at the half demon.

"Is that you, Gorder?"

"How did you know?"

"Enough!" Inuyasha swiped and caught all the tails of the mice, holding them up to his face. "What are you doing in my house?" Before they could answer he was shoved forward. "Hey!"

Seven mole demons had pushed a human princess in a glass casket under an enchanted sleep onto the table. They looked at him and one of them waved sheepishly.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table."

"Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken."

"Huh?"

Inuyasha pulled back the curtain to his room to find a weak looking wolf demon in female clothing in his bed. "What?" The wolf asked. Inuyasha pulled the wolf from his bed.

"I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying half-breed!" He pushed the front door open. "What do I have to do to get a little privacy?" He threw the cross dressing wolf out and found that his land was filled with hundreds of minor demons.

"Oh, no. Oh, no. No! No!" Three large human looking demons with wings flew past him so closely that he had to jump out of the way. He watched them land.

There was a man playing a flute that was summoning more and more rat demons.

A few bear demons had gathered around a blazing fire.

"What are you doing in my swamp?" he cried out so loud every demon became silent. "All right, get out of here. All of you, move it!" He shooed them away. "Come on! Let's go!" He growled loudly and in a threatening tone.

"Quickly. Come on!" A dozen of the demons ran towards his house.

"No, no. No, no. Not there. Not there." He ran over to the door but they'd locked it. Inuyasha sighed.

Shippo had emerged from the front of the crowd and Inuyasha glared at him. Shippo looked as confused as Inuyasha felt. "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them."

"Oh, gosh, no one invited us." The moth demon spoke up in a high squeaky voice.

"What?" Inuyasha cried.

"We were forced to come here."

"By who?"

"Lord Kouga," a pig demon spoke up. "He huffed und he puffed und he... signed an eviction notice." Inuyasha sighed.

"All right. Who knows where this Kouga guy is?" He asked to all of the demons.

"Oh, I do," Shippo spoke up, "I know where he is." Unfortunately for Inuyasha none of the other demons looked like they wanted to voice.

"Does anyone else know where to find him?" One of the young bear demons raised his hand but his father lowered it quickly. An odd pair of demons pointed at each other.

"Anyone at all?" Inuyasha asked again.

"Me! Me!" Shippo cried.

"Anyone?"

"Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!" Inuyasha sighed again.

"Okay, fine," he said exasperatedly. "Attention, all demons. Do not get comfortable. You welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Kouga right now and get you all off my land and back to where you came from."

There was a moment of stunned silence before the crowd broke out in cheers and applause. A few small bird demons put a flower cape on Inuyasha's shoulders.

"Oh!" he cried as they draped him with the cape. "You!" he pointed to Shippo, "You're comin' with me." He threw the cape off him and walked through the crown which happily parted for him.

"All right, that's what I like to hear, dog. Inuyasha and Shippo, two stalwart demons, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure." The bird demons placed a wreath on Shippo's head.

"I love it!" He exclaimed catching up to Inuyasha. The crowd was still cheering.

_On the road again,_

"Sing it with me Inuyasha!"

_I can't wait to get on the road again_--

"What did I say about singing?" Inuyasha demanded after yanking a torch from a nearby demon and throwing him on the ground.

"Can I whistle?"

"No."

"Can I hum it?"

"All right, hum it," Inuyasha said regretfully. Shippo started humming gleefully.

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Prince Kouga marched down a corridor leading to the dungeons. There he had a prisoner who would tell him the whereabouts of Lady Ayame. Upon reaching the prison the guards snapped to attention and opened the doors for him.

Inside, his faithful follower Ginta was dunking his prisoner's head underwater.

"That's enough. He's ready to talk." Ginta lifted the prisoner out of the water and tied him down to a small table. It was Myouga the flea. Kouga laughed like a madman as he approached the table.

"Ah, my dear friend Myouga. How you're hiding skills have become legendary. Though, you still cannot elude the great Kouga, for I am the best!"

"You're a monster."

"I'm not the monster here. You are. You and all you other lesser demons who shouldn't even be called demons, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where is the Lady Ayame?"

"Bite me!" Myouga spat in Kouga's face.

"I've tried to be fair to you, you worthless demons. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll--" he threatened, making to swat the flea.

"No, no, not my face. Not my beautiful face."

"All right then. Who's hiding her?"

"Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know Hakkaku?"

"Hakkaku?"

"Well, she's married to Hakkaku."

"Hakkaku?"

"Hakkaku!" The flea cried in desperation.

Kouga looked up in dismay and said in disbelief, "She's married to Hakkaku?" They were interrupted by a wolf soldier coming in.

"My lord! We found it."

"Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in." Several wolves stumbled in,awkwardly carrying a large oval package. They set it on a hook and pulled the protective cloth off it. It was a mirror and in the glass a face came into view. It was the face of a man with handsome purple eyes and short black hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail.

"Oh!" Myouga said in awe as he spotted the mirror.

"Magic mirror--" Kouga began but was interrupted by Myoga.

"Don't tell him anything, Miroku!" Kouga, fed up with the flea,pinched him between two fingers and he floated into acrack in the floor between the flagstonesso that he wouldn't disturb them further. When he approached the mirror he poured on the charm.

"Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?"

"Well, technically you're not a king."

"Uh, Ginta," the wolf prince called. Ginta held up a small mirror and smashed it.

"You were saying?" Miroku was panicking. He didn't want to get broken.

"What I mean is, you're not a king _yet_. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess."

"Go on." Kouga said interestedly.

Miroku chuckled nervously. "So... just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are!" Miroku said, imitating a game show host. He pulled his face out of the glass and let three darkened pictures take the screen.

"Bachelorette number one is a fiery woman, last of her kin from a village far, far away. She likes sake and dipping in the hot-springs anytime. Her hobbies include saving her possessed brother and practicing with her giant boomerang. Please welcome Sango." Miroku showed a picture of Sango in a battle pose with her boomerang.

"Bachelorette number two is a lady in white from a woeful family. Although she lives with her abusive father and over protective sister, she's not easy. Just kiss her dull, emotionless lips to wake her from her dazed abused state and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Kanna!" Kouga seemed to be considering this one.

"And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery and powerful Priestess from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded arrow who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Kagome!" Prince Kouga looked please with his choices and the men behind him were applauding.

"So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?" Miroku asked.

"Two! Two!" Someone called.

"Three! Three!" Yelled another.

"Two! Two!"

"Three!" They continued to yell.

"Three? One?" Kouga asked himself and shuddered. "Three?"

"Three! Pick number three, my lord!" Ginta said, holding up only two fingers.

"Okay, okay, uh, number three!" Kouga decided.

"Lord Kouga, you've chosen Princess Kagome." Miroku pulled his head out of the view of the glass again and showed a picture ofPrincess Kagome looking wistfully out of a tower window while playing music.

_If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain_--

The men were clapping wildly and Kouga was staring at Kagome's picture in the mirror. "Princess Kagome," he muttered.

--_If you're not into yoga_--

The song kept playing.

"She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go--"

"But I probably should mention," Miroku tried to say, "that little thing that happens at night."

"I'll do it," Kouga announced, not listening to Miroku.

"Yes, but after sunset--"

"Silence!" Kouga ordered Miroku. "I will make this Princess Kagome my queen, and my kingdom will finally have the perfect king. Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament!"

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A/N: I'd like to thank all reviewers for their wonderful input and want to credit Kushielle for patiently betaing my story.  
Also I shall try to update every week on monday as this is handy for me.

Review Responses:  
**_abnormally cool_**: Thanks for your wonderful review, and I'll try  
**_Bomhammer_**: Your ideas were wonderful unfortunately I have most of the story already written out but perhaps another story like this would be a future project. Thanks for the review.  
**_dbzgtfan2004_**: Yeah, I love that pairing too. I was thinking of doing Shrek 2, but the characters might be a bit funky, though it would work. Thanks for the review.  
_**JustAnotherAnimeFan**_: Yeah, my beta said the same things. We're working on correcting that in future chapters >. Tis just a bit hecktic with Christmas and the anniversary of my brother's death coming up but I hope to impress you with future chapters. Thanks for the review.


	3. Chapter 3

_Shrek, Inuyasha Style  
_By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek,and read the story to find out the rest  
_Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit_

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Inuyasha and Shippo walked out of a tall wheat field into an open stable ground.

"That's it. That's it right there. That's Takeda. I told you I'd find it," Shippo spoke up proudly.

"So, that must be Lord Kouga's castle." Inuyasha and Shippo look up to see a huge castle rising hundreds of stories into the air.

"Uh-huh. That's the place."

"Do you think maybe he's trying to compensate for something?" Inuyasha asked, laughing. Shippo apparently didn't get it and Inuyasha groaned with annoyance before walking to the entrance of the castle.

"Hey! Wait up, Inuyasha!" Shippo called as he ran to catch up with the half demon.

There was a large, but stupid looking, human guard at the entrance waving to couple running into the castle. You could hear the man call, "Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry." Inuyasha and Shippo looked to each other as if to say, "Huh?"

"Hey, you!" Inuyasha called out. The human noticed him and screamed, running neatly through the waiting lines.

"Wait a second. Look, I'm not going to eat you." Inuyasha paused at the turnstile. "I just--I just--" The guard was still running through the lines when Inyasha growled in annoyance and jumped over all the ropes.

The human was whimpering and running with arms extended. As he turned back to check the distance between himself and Inuyasha he ran into said half demon. Looking up from the ground he uttered a very feminine shriek and passed out.

"Pathetic," Inuyasha muttered as he looked at the passed out human. He pushed his way confidently through the turnstile. He looked back to see Shippo stuck halfway through them. He gave it an almighty push and Shippo spun around a couple of timed before getting out. Shippo gave a weak chuckle.

Inside, the odd couple could see huts upon huts neatly arranged. The central and secondary city gardens were groomed so perfectly that not even a single blade of grass was misplaced. Elevator music played in the empty and amazingly clean streets. There was not a single scrap of garbage anywhere.

"It's quiet," Inuyasha said suspiciously as he looked down more and more empty streets. "Too quiet. Where is everybody?"

"Hey, look at this!" Shippo exclaimed as he ran to an information booth and pulled the lever. He ran behind Inuyasha when the contraption began to clatter and click. The clicking became more frequent, like a bomb about to go off. Inuyasha raised his arm, ready to shield his face should the worst happen.

Music erupted and the doors to the information booth swung open. There were minature wooden figures inside that appeared to be singing; and in irritatingly preppy voices.

_"Welcome to Takeda  
__Such a perfect town.  
__Here we have some rules  
__Let us lay them down._

_Don't make waves  
__Stay in line  
__And we'll get along fine  
__Takedais a perfect place._

_Please keep off  
__Of the grass  
__Shine your shoes  
__Wipe your... face_

_Takeda is, Takeda is  
__Takeda is a perfect place!"_

"Wow! Let's do that again!"

"Oi!" Inuyasha cried as he grabbed Shippo's tail. "No way kit!"

Their attention was called down the main street as fanfare music played and a crowed cheered.

"Brave knights," a voice called from within the base of the tower. "You are the best and the brightest in all the land." Shippo hummed the song from the information booth as they wandered down a corridor to the source of the fanfare music, cheering crowd, and speaker.

"Today one of you shall prove himself--"

"Oi, kit. You're about to be unable to ever speak again!" Inuyasha threatened with his claws extended out to Shippo.

"Sorry about that," Shippo appologized nervously.The crowd roared again. The two had entered what looked like a battle arena, complete with cheering crowds raised on the edges. On one side there was someone, presumably Lord Kouga, addressing a dozen knights below him.

"That champion shall have the honor-- no, no-- the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Kagome from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth." Inuyasha was right behind the knights now. "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make." The crowd began cheering like Kouga was doing the most noble thing in the world. The man holding up the sign saying 'applause' wasn't helping either.

"Let the tournament begin!" Kouga announced. Inuyasha was fed up with this, revealed by his ears pushing against his hair, and pushed his way through the knights to make himself known to Kouga. The knights scattered out of the way for him. The music painfully died and the crowd began to gasp as Kouga asked what they were all thinking.

"What is that? Ugh! It's hideous!"

"Ah, that's not very nice." Inuyasha scolded as he looked back to Shippo. "It's only a dirty fox."

"Huh?" Shippo asked confused.

"Indeed," Kouga said dryly. "Knights, new plan! The one who kills the half-breed will be named champion! Have at him!"

"Oh, hey! Now come on!" he said, backing away. "Hang on now. Can't we just settle this over some sake?" he asked holding a large glass of sake he snatched from the table he bumped into. The knights continued to advance on him.

"No? Alright then." Inuyasha chugged the sake, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and knocked off the plug on the huge barrel with the metal mug.

"Come on!" The force of the rushing liquid knocked several knights over. Grabbing a spear from a fallen knight he used to totrip another.

_I don't give a damn about my reputation_

Shippo was on top of a keg guiding it to roll over a couple humans.

Kouga looked livid.

_You're living in the past  
It's a new generation_

The knights ran at Inuyasha in a mob. Inuyasha looked at them and grinned.

With one mighty sweep of his arm, Inuyasha threw 7 of the knights to the ground, knocked unconcious. Kouga looked on in disgust.

Shippo fell off the keg and knocked himself out. Inuyasha ignored him and jumped in a square pen where some horses were held, followed by a couple of soldiers. The animals jumped out in fright.

_A girl can do what she wants to do  
And that's what I'm gonna do_

Using the elasticy lines of the pen like a wresting arena he stretched one back to launch himself, using his momentum and outstretched arms to knock out two more knights. The crowd 'booed' in dismay.

_And I don't give a damn __about my bad reputation_

Inuyasha jumped over another knight, landing neatly on his shoulders and slamming him to the ground. He then jumped up on a post and belly flopped on yet another knight.

_Oh, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me_

A man was standing behind him about to stab him in the ass. Inuyasha flipped up and over the knight grabbing him in a tight hold.

_Me, me, me_

A newly conscious Shippo was standing near a corner of the pen and called out to Inuyasha.

"Hey, Inuyasha, tag me! Tag me!

_And I don't give a damn about my repuataion_

Inuyasha dragged the knight still in a tight hold over to Shippo where Shippo headbutted him, going crosseyed for a moment.

_Never said I wanted to improve my station_

Inuyasha turned to the roaringcrowd and became a surprising exrtovert.

"Ah!" He growled loudly and beconed for morewhile another armed knight appraoched him from behind.

_And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun_

"Yeah!" He noticed the knighed at the last moment and jumped on him lightly as not to break his neck.

_And I don't have to please no one._

"The chair! Give him the chair!" A woman cried from the crowds.

Inuyasha spun on his feet with the grace of a dancer and whacked the man over the head, breaking the chair.

_And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation_

Kouga shook his head in utter dismay.He couldn't believe his best men were being this badly beaten by a _half_ demon.

_Oh, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me_

The crowd roared happily as Inuyasha spun another knight into the ropes, propelling the human back into Inuyasha's jump kick.

_Me, me, me_

Inuyasha picked up another one and flipped him over his back and then twisted the man's legs in a rather painful looking way.

_Oh, no, no, no, no  
Not me, not me_

He held another knight upside down and pounded his head into the ground, then spun him around over his head like a stick before throwing the poor guy into the corner near Shippo. Shippokicked the helmet and it gave off a clear ring

_Not me!_

The crowd was on its feet when Inuyasha jumped out of the arena victorious.

"Oh, yeah!" Inuyasha cried, flexing his muscles in triumph. "Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!"

Lord Kouga signalled his priest archers. As they pointed their arrows, deadly ofuda's on the shaft, to the half demon andthe crowd fell silent. Shippo moved closer to Inuyasha for protection.

"Shall I give the order sir?" One of Kouga's wolves asked him.

"No, I have a better idea." He signalled for the guard to return to attention.

"People of Takeda, I give you our champion!"

"What?" Inuyasha snorted in disbelief as the crowd began to cheer yet again.

"Congratulations, half breed. You've won the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest."

"Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back!"

"Your swamp?"

"Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped all those pathetic excuses for demons!"

"Indeed," Kouga answered lightly. The people began to murmur at such a thought. "All right, _half breed_," Kouga said as if it fouled his mouth, "I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back."

"Exactly the way it was?"

"Down to the last slime covered toadstool."

"And the squatters?" Inuyasha pushed.

"As good as gone."

Inuyasha looked up at the armed priests, their arrows glowing a deadly pink, as if weighing the situation. "What kind of quest?"

.  
...  
.

"Okay let me get this straight." Shippo told Inuyasha as they exited another field of sunflowers, arms laden with foods picked from the fields. "You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a priestess just so Kouga will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?"

"Maybe there's a good reason pups shouldn't talk."

"I am _not_ a pup, I'm a kit," Shippo corrected angrily. "I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that super half demon stuff on him."

"What makes you think a half demon would be stronger than a full demon. Half demon means half power."

"Well everybody makes such a big deal about half demons I thought they were really strong and powerful or something. You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress. Squeeze the blood out of his heart, you know the whole demon thing."

"Oh, I know what, maybe I could have decapitated the entire village and put their heads on a pike, taken my claws, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?" Inuyasha asked sarcastically.

"Uh, no, not really, no."

"For your information, there's a lot more to half demons than people think."

"Example?" Shippo asked.

"Example? Okay, um, half demons are like onions." He held out an onion to show Shippo.

"They stink?"

"Yes-- No!"

"They make you cry?"

"No!"

"Oh, you leave then out in the sun too long and they get all brown and start sproutin' little white hairs."

"No! Layers!" Inuyasha cried out in frustration, waving his arms about to make it all the more clear to the little kit. "Onions have layers. Half demons have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers." He sighed after he threw the half peeled onion onto the ground.

"Oh, you both have _layers_. Oh." Shippo bent down to sniff the onion. "You know, not everbody likes onions. Cake!" He cried, running to catch up with Inuyasha.

"Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers."

"I don't care... what everybody likes. Half demons are not like cakes."

"You know what else everybody likes? Jawbreakers. Have you ever met a person, you say, 'Hey, let's go get some jawbreakers,' and they say, 'No, I don't like jawbreakers?' Jawbreakers are yummy."

"No!" Inuyasha roared. "You dense, irritating, little spawn of hell! Half demons are like onions! End of story."

Now a normal person...er, demon would be discouraged by this. But not Shippo; he just kept talking and walking along side Inuyasha.

"Jawbreakers may be the most delicious think on the whole damn planet."

"You know, I think I preferred your humming," Inuyasha admitted as they began marching through another field plump with crops.

.  
...  
.

Inuyasha and Shippo had been travelling for days, through fields and over mountains. The particular mountain they were climbing led to the castle that held the priestess they were supposed to rescue in order to get Inuyasha's swamp back.

"Ooh! Inuyasha! Did you do that?" Shippo asked waving the air in front of himself. "You gotta warn somebody before you just do that. My mouth was open and everything."

"Believe me, Shippo, if it was me, you'd be dead." Inuyasha sniffed the air. "It's brimstone. We must be getting close."

"Yeah, right, brimstone," Shippo muttered under his breath. "I know what I smell, I'm a demon. It wasn't brimstone." The two climbed over a final ledge before laying eyes on the castled. It was most certainly what a typical dragon guarded castled looked like. The castled was in the middle of a volcano, surrounded by a river of flowing lava. The only way to reach the castled was by and old and rickety rope bridge. The castled itself was large and dark with only a single light lit at the height tower. There were clouds hovering around it to make it look more ominous and the castle was in ruins in many different places.

"Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location," Inuyasha chuckled at another joke Shippo did not understand.

"Uh, Inuyasha? Remember when you said half demons have layers?"

"Hn."

"Foxes don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves."

"Wait a second. Foxes don't have sleeves."

"You know what I mean," Shippo reprimanded.

"You can't tell me you're afraid of heights."

"No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!"

"Come on, kit. I'm right here beside you, okay? For... emotional support. We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time." He said as he shoved Shippo ahead of him.

"Really?"

"Really, really."

"Okay, that makes me feel so much better," Shippo sighed.

"Just keep moving." Inuyasha ordered as they started across. "And don't look down."

"Okay, don't look down. Don't look down." Shippo chanted to himself. "Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down."

But as Shippo took another step the wood broke and he stumbled.

"Inuyasha! I'm looking down! Oh, Kami, I can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!" Shippo pleaded as he turned to the half demon.

"But you're already halfway."

"Yeah, but I know _that _half is safe!"

"Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back."

"Inuyasha no! Wait!" Shippo cried as he tried to get around Inuyasha's large person.

"Just, Shippo-"

"Let's have a dance then, shall we?" Inuyasha asked as he swung the rope bridge.

"Don't do that!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said in a fake sincere voice. "Do what? Oh, this?" He asked when he swung the bridge again.

"Yes, that!"

"Yes? Yes, do it. Okay." Inuyasha began to swing the bridge wildly as he advanced towards the other side.

"Ahhhhhh! No! Stop it!" Shippo wailed as he backed up.

"You just said do it! I'm doin' it."

"Oh, Kami. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Inuyasha, I'm gonna die." Shippo stopped his ranting when he no longer felt the swing of the bridge and opened his eyes. "Oh!"

"That'll do, Fox. That'll do." Inuyasha patted Shippo's head and walked away grinning. Shippo looked from the bridge to Inuyasha.

"Cool." He caught up with Inuyasha. "So where is this fire-breathing-pain-in-the-neck anyway?"

"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her."

"I was talkin' about the dragon, Inuyasha," Shippo stated dryly.

.  
...  
.

A/N: Sorry for the late update, it's due to the holidays and that I've had to greatly contribute to making our new recroom (from drywalling to plastering, priming, painting, and setting up the home theater syster >. ;;). Apologies to beta Kushielle for putting unnecessary stress for help when it was actually early _and_ _I'm_ late. I will post on Monday again.

Review Responses:  
_**Emiri teh Strange**_: Thank you very much for your review and condolences. _**  
rinthefluffylover**_: Sorry, no. Sesshy won't be in this. Perhaps I can use him in the second story if I decide to do that one.  
_**Azmidiske**_: I know, that's one of the reason's I wanted to write this was because of Shippo, he's my favorite character  
_**Shackles**_: (From earlier review) No I didn't know there was another crossover out there. I did check it out though and thought it was nifty. I didn't even know there was one until you mentioned it. Thanks for your reviews.

Thanks to following who reviewed:  
_**PlushXD, SuNjEwElDrAgOn, RockyShoreline, someone, Daddy's Pixie, abnormally cool, lovebug.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Shrek, Inuyasha Style  
_By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek, and read the story to find out the rest.  
_Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit._

.  
...  
.

Shippo and Inuyasha ventured inside. The castle was dark, ominous, creepy and in ruins; everything you'd expect of a dragon guarded castle. There were skeletons lying everywhere.They were usually next to some scorched or broken wall.

"Are you afraid?" Shippo whispered.

"No, but... Shh!" Inuyasha ordered, also in a quiet voice.

"Oh, good. Me neither." Shippo gasped in terror when Inuyasha had startedwalking awaywithout him and he scurried back up to his source of protection.

"'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid, you know. It's a natural emotion. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation I might add." Shippo was talking in a calm but panicked voice. "With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it definately doesn't mean you're a coward if you're... a little scared, you know? I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that." Shippo whimpered terribly after his confession when he ran into a dead knight and it's helmet fell on his head.

"Shippo! Two things, okay?" Inuyasha held up two fingers. "Shut... up," he counted off, putting his fingers down as he did.

"Now, go over there and see if you can find any stairs." Inuyasha ordered as he took the helmet from Shippo's head and put it on his own head.

"Stairs?" Shippo looked startled and a bit baffled."I thought we were looking for the princess."

"The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower."

"What makes you think she'll be there?"

"I read it in a book once." Inuyasha called back over his shoulder.

"Alright. I can live with that. You take care of the dragon. I'll take care of those stairs." Then Shippo began muttering silly nonsense as he walked away, presumably to find the stairs if he could stay focused.

"I'll find those stairs. For sure. They'll never know what hit them! I'm vicious! I'm the stair master." He jumped up on a crumbling old stair and stuck his chest out as he ranted. He opened a large pair of doors and sauntered through them.

"Yep.Stairs. Damned things won't know what stepped on them. I'll fox fire those stairs! I'm so great... they'll crumble when they see me. Stair master on the way! You stairs better beware."As Shippo muttered his incoherence a large eyelid, almost as large as himself, opened to a yellow slit. Shippo, totally oblivious to the threat to his person, continued on in the same fashion.

.  
...  
.

Inuyasha continued on his way through the castle, picking up any armour he came across that fit his specifications. He was about to call out for the dragon when he heard a roar from another part of the castle.

"Well, at least I know where the dragon is." He muttered. "The only thing left is where the princesses tower-"

.  
...  
.

"Dragon!" Shippo screamed as he ran, narrowly missing a burst of flame. He ran back through the corridor he had just escaped from, the dragon hot on his tail. When Shippo found Inuyasha he gave an extra spurt of speed to get out of harms way.

"Damn filthy demon!" Inuyasha snapped, pushing Shippo out of the way as the dragon took aim and shot more fire at them. Shippo cried out when Inuyasha was engulfed by the flames, but had little time to dwell on it when the dragon came after him again. Shippo ducked and covered his head seconds before fire seared the air above him. Paralysed by fright, he didn't move, save for the trembling of his body, and the dragon leaned in to make a quick meal out of him.

The demon would havegotten a nice little appetizer had Inuyasha not grabbed it's tail and yelled, "Oi! You're fight's over here!" Shippo scurried away when the dragon reared it's head to snap at the half demon attached to it's tail.Inuyasha hung on for dear life as the demon swung it's large tail back and forth and up and down and around and around to get rid of the parasite-like half-demon.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Inuyasha cried at every swing until finally the dragon managed to throw him into the air, soaring like a bird. He made a grand arc before coming down through a roof into a tower.

The dragon, satisfied with the desposal of _that _annoyance, continued it's perusal of the small terrified kitsune. Frustrated at being too large for the tiny human structures it blew fire into the base of one of the smaller towers, causing Shippo to come running out onto a raised catwalk near by followed closelyby the demon's fire. He ran over the small catwalk attempting to get acrosswhen a large tail came and destroyed the rest of the path in front of him. He gasped in shockand turned around to try and go back over the catwalk the other way but was stopped by the demons tail crashing in his path again, destroying his last route of escape. He tried valiantly to run back the other way again and the path was made even smaller with yet another crash of the dragon's tail.

Shippo was now trapped on a small square of stone at the mercy of the demon that was now rearing up in front of him.

"No! I'm too small to die!" Shippo gave a small scream when the rock he was trying to back up onto crumbled away.

"My, what large teeth you have." Shippo trembled. The dragon roared at him loud enough to blow his ears back.

"I mean... white sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food-" the dragon was now regarding Shippo curiously, "-but you must bleach. 'Cause, you know, that is one dazzling smile you got there. And, er...do I detect a hint of minty freshness." Shippo was no longer cowering as he poured on the charm for the dragon. The demon was looking very flattered rather than intimidating and fearful.

"And you know what else? You're-" He broke off as the dragon leaned its head close to him and batted very feminine eyelashes.

"You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're exuding irresistable feminine beauty!" The she-dragon was thoroughly contented with Shippo's praises and flaunted all the femininity she had, batting her eyelashes more.

"What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?" She blew a heart smoke ring around the kitsune.

"Ooh." Shippo said as he understood. "Oh. Oh, well gosh... I'd really love to stay but, you know, I'm... uh-" he coughed, "-I'm an asthmatic, and I really don't know if it would work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings." Shippo paused for a moment to consider his options. "Inuyasha!" Shippo screamed as soon as he turned around. The dragon reached over and picked Shippo up by his tail, carrying him off into the castle.

"No! Help, Inuyasha! Inuyashaaaaaaaaa...!"

.  
...  
.

Inuyasha picked himself up off of the floor and shook his head to clear away the fog. Unaware of the woman behind him, who lay down with a bouquet of flowers clenched in her hands and placed on her breasts when she noticed his sudden entrance, brushed himself off.

Turning around he gazed upon a young woman with raven hair.She was laying on a bed wearing an elegant, electric blue dress as a small smile graced her face in her 'slumber'.

He walked over to her and kneeled downon the mattress. He reached down and grasped her shoulders gently and studied her face. He gave a slight nod and roughly shookher awake.

"Oh! Hey!" she criedwhen Inuyasha shook her.

"Wake up!" he ordered harshly.

"What?" she demanded irritably, looking up at the charred face of her rude alarm clock in dismay.

"Are you the priestess, Princess Kagome?"

"I am," she replied airily. "Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me."

"Aww that's nice." He commented sweetly. He then continued in his harsh voice."Now, let's go!" He proceeded to head out of the room dragging the lady along with him.

"But wait... Sir Knight! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" She asked falling back on the bed putting her hand to her forehead with a romantic flourish.

"Yeah. Sorry lady. There's no time." Inuyasha reached forward and hauled the priestess away.

"Hey, wait. Wait a minute!"She interrupted in an angry voice. "What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out younder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed."

"You've had lots of time to plan this, haven't you?" Inuyasha asked as he turned away from the lock he was trying to break.

"Mmhmm." Inuyasha ran forward and broke down the door with his demon strength.

"But we must savour this moment!" Kagome cried, racing down the stairs of the tower to keep up with her 'rescuer'. "You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick!? Or... something!" She finished as she wrenched her hand away from him.

"I don't think so." They both came to a stop.

"Can I at least know the name of my champion?"

"Um, Inuyasha," he said somewhat hesitantly.

"Sir Inuyasha." Kagome cleared her throat delicately. "I pray that you would take this favour as a token of my gratitude." She held up a lacy handkerchief that Inuyasha eyed critically. He then grabbed it and used to clean his brow.

"Thanks." He handed it back to Kagome who held itas if it were trying to bite her. Then the dragon roared.

"You didn't slay the dragon?" she asked incredulously.

"It's on my to-do list, okay? Now come on wench!"

"But this isn't right!" Kagome cried while struggling in Inuyasha's grasp. "You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did!"

"Yeah... right before they burst into flame." He said sarcastically, pointing to one of the crispy knightsthey had just passed.

"That's not the point..." she trailed off as they entered what looked like the dragon demon's kitchen complete with a cauldron and recipe book titled '30 Excellent Ways to Cook Humans'. "Wait... where are you going? The exit's over there."

"I have to save my ass," Inuyasha said.

"What kind of knight are you?" Kagome demanded frustrated.

"One of a kind," Inuyasha answered smugly before opening the door Shippo's frantic voice had flowed forth from.

He heard Shippo trying to deter the dragon. "Whoa, slow down. Slow down lady. Please! I believe it's healthier to get to know someone over a longer period of time than what you're suggesting." Inuyasha crept in and looked down into a pit full of treasure where the she-dragon had the fox.

"Just call me old-fashioned," Shippo chuckled nervously. "I don't want to just rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally or physically ready for a commitment of, uh, this- Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. I'm still a little kid you know." Shippo explained. The dragon reached down and stroked Shippo's head lovingly.

"Hey! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Whoa, wait... what are you doing?" Shippo demanded as the dragon pulled away from coddling the kit and lit the chandelier hanging above her head.

"Okay, alright. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time." Shippo used his magic to turn into a donkey. "See, you don't want me. I'm a real _ass_ in relationships."

Inuyasha was on the railing behind the loving couple and was looking around for some sort of strategy.

"We really should get to know each other first as just friends or aquaintances." Inuyasha had found a good idea. He grabbed a chain hanging from the ceiling and yanked on it a couple of times to check its sturdiness. Then he jumped and swung over the dragon's head a couple of times while looking for what to do next. Above him the chain was rolled on a crank. He climbed up the chain a little then jumped down and used his weight to make the chain unroll. He swung andlanded on top of Shippo, knocking him down safely to the gold below. He pushed Shippo just as the dragon was about to kiss him and the demon ended up kissing Inuyasha's ass instead, much to Inuyasha's shock.

The dragon opened it's eyes expecting to see a donkey. It saw Inuyasha's ass instead, much to it's shock and dismay. The demon roared in anger, only to crank up the volume when the chandelier landed aroundits neck like a collar.

Inuyasha jumped off thestone platformasthe dragonroared ran up some stairs, grabbing Shippo as he passed him. They passed by the dragon on the next level, fire close on their heels.

Inuyasha picked Shippo up as he jumped down a hole and ran towards Kagome. She opened her mouth to speak but Inuyasha hoisted her up too.

"Hi Princess!" Shippo greeted from Inuyasha's back.

"It talks!" Kagome gasped as Shippo changed back from a donkey to a fox.

"Yeah, it's getting it to shut up that's the trick," Inuyasha joked. He stopped at a hole too large to jump and a fallen stone column leading to a level below. The dragon made a snap at them and Inuyasha slid down.

"Oi!" Inuyasha's eyes crossed momentarily as he slid across one section of the column that was lowered from the rest leaving painful consequences.

After jumping off from the column he groaned and his first few steps were wobbly prior to running. He looked up ahead and saw checkered columns in a large room. He grinned and led the dragon still hot on their trail, twisting and turning around the stone pillars.

He turned another corner and the dragon was standing in front of them. They all gasped at the same time and jumped out of the way as the dragon shot more fire at them. A short distance away he set the two of them down.

"Okay you two. Head for the exit!" They ran without hesitation and Inuyasha picked up a sword. "I'll take care of the dragon." He rammed the sword into a crisscrossed section of chain to hold it and ran for the door.

"Run you idiots!" He called as he caught up to them waiting for him, the dragon having also spotted them.

They ran out the front entrance and the dragon sent more fire following them, all the way to the rickety rope bridge. It didn't get our hero's but did burn enough of the bridge to free one end.

Kagome screamed and Inuyasha took a hold of the bridge. Shippo tried valiantly to hang on but slipped. Fortunately, Inuyasha caught him by his tail.

The dragon charged out of the castle among the flaming ruins and jumped to take flight; Kagome screamed again, her hands beginning to glow with purification powers. The dragon, however, was detained by the sword Inuyasha had wisely placed among the chains and all it could do was fly to the end of the chain.

The trio sighed and began to climb up the bridge while the dragon sat back at the castle entrance, whimpering pitifully.

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A/N: Well I managed to update on time this week, unfortunately school is starting tomorrow. Blah. Anyways credit to Kushielle for doing a bang up job of betaing, and painfully pointing out all my errors mock glare

Review Responses:  
**_stackles_**: Ah, yes. That is the one I checked out. Thanks for all your reviews.  
**_Do a DAMN GOOGLE SEARCH_**: Ah.. your review was interesting, to say the least. I had a bit of trouble reading it, but I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for your reveiw.  
**_RockyShoreline:_** Unfortunately no. Naraku is simply too evil for something like this and Sesshoumaru is too cold. I might be able to work Sesshy into the sequal, much to the horror of my beta considering what I'm going to do to him.  
**_CatHanyouNelia:_** I know, I'm a total Shippo fangirl too. But gasps you don't like Kouga O-O He's practically my favortie character! At least when he is portrayed correctly.

Thanks to the following who also reviewed:  
**_Daddy's Pixie, omae, nekoinuhanyou_**


	5. Chapter 5

_Shrek, Inuyasha Style  
_By: Fuji the Hobbit

Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek, and read the story to find out the rest.  
_Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit_

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Kagome slid down the small bowl rim slope and cried dramatically, "You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing! Wonderful! You're..." she paused as Inuyasha and Shippo fell after her in an undignified heap, "not what I expected, I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine blood is pure. I am eternally in your debt." Shippo cleared his throat suggestively.

"And where would a brave knight be without his noble page?" Kagome asked as she bent down and hugged Shippo.

"I hope you heard that. She called me a noble page. She thinks I'm a page."

Kagome giggled. "The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight."

"Uh, no." Inuyasha said evasively.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to!"

"Please? Iwish look upon the face of my rescuer..." Kagome pleaded looking cute.

"No, you wouldn't...'st." Inuyasha argued as he slowly backed up.

"But how will you kiss me?"

"What?" Hejerked slightly in surprise then turned aroundto look at what he'd backed into. "That wasn't in the job description."

"Maybe it's a perk." Shippo suggested.

"No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon," Kagome was moving around and moving her arms emphatically, "is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss."

"What? With Inuyasha? You think... Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! You think that Inuyasha is your true love?"

"Well... yes." The two guys stood there for second,looking at eachother with blank stares, before breaking out into hearty laughter.

"You think Inuyasha is your true love!" Shippo gasped between laughs before he fell on his back with laughter.

"What is so funny?" Kagome demanded.

"Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?"

"Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now-- Now remove your helmet."

"Look. I really don't think this is a good idea."

"Just take off the helmet."

"I'm not going to."

"Take it off." Kagome sounded like a scolding mother.

"No!" And Inuyasha sounded like a rebellious child.

"Now!"

"Okay!" Inuyasha said as he gave in. "Calm down. As you command... Your Highness." When Inuyasha took off his helmet and shook out his long silver hair, Kagome pulled back slightly in surprise, looking at Inuyasha with a hint of disappointment. Inuyasha, not knowing what else to do, pulled a charming grin.

"You-- You're a-- a half-demon," Kagome stuttered. Inuyasha's grin disintegrated.

"Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming."

"Well, yes actually." Kagome paused for a moment. "Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be a demon," Kagome said mournfully as she walked away to go sit down. Inuyasha sighed and followed her, trying to explain things.

"Priestess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Kouga, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you." Inuyasha explained. "And he's a demon too." He added under his breath.

"Then why didn't he come rescue me?"

"Good question. You should ask him that when we get there." Inuyasha said as he threw the helmet away and turned around, mocking what she said next.

"But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some half-demon and his-- his pet."

"Well so much for noble page."

"Look Princess, you're not making my job any easier."

"Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Kouga that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here," and with that Kagome sat down on the rock behind her, crossing her legs and arms and looking away.

"Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy." Inuyasha snarled, now face to face with Kagome.

"You wouldn't dare." Kagome snarled back. Well Inuyasha dared by picking Kagome up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Ahh! Put me down!"

"You coming, fox?" Inuyasha asked Shippo over a screaming Kagome.

"Uh, yup. I'm right behind you."

"Put me down or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! Ahh!"

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Later at around sunset Inuyasha was still carrying a very bored Kagome on his back while Shippo trailed behind the pair asking Kagome questions.

"Okay. So here's another question. Say there's a woman that likes you, right, but you don't really like her in_that _way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?"

"You just tell her that she's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when you find your- ah!" Kagome was interrupted her as Inuyasha jostled her around a bit with a smug grin.

"Hey!" she cried as sheglared at him, sighing when he just ignored her again.

"The sooner we get to DuLoc the better." Kagome complained.

"You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!"

"And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Kouga? What's he like?" she asked hopefully.

"Well let me put it this way, Priestess," Inuyasha spoke up, throwing Kagome unceremoniously on the bank near a small lake.

"They don't make wolves like Kouga anymore." Inuyasha bent down and washed his face.

"Yeah, or else we'd be rid of them." The guys chuckled while Kagome seethed.

"Stop it. Stop it both of you. You know you're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Kouga," she chastised as she poked Inuyasha in the chest.

"Yeah well, maybe you're right Princess. I think my people would overthrow me faster than you could say, 'Let's get going!' This time tomorrow I'll be relaxing."

"Tomorrow?" Kagome asked worridly, looking at the setting sun. "It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?"

"No," Inuyasha said, turning around. "That'll take longer. We can keep going." He turned back around and started walking.

"But there's demons in the woods." She protested, rather lamely.

"Whoa! Time out, Inuyasha!" Shippo panicked and jumped around. "Camping's starting to sound good."

"Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest." Inuyasha protested.

Kagome ran in front of Inuyasha. "I need to find somewhere to camp _NOW!" _Her voice echoed through the woods and both demon and half demon had their ears flat against their head as they stared at the new found ferocity of the gentle spirited woman.

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Inuyasha pushed a huge boulder away from the mouth of a cave. He looked inside and called out, with a wave of his arm, "Hey! Over here."

"Inuyasha, we can do better than that," Shippo hissed. "No I don't think this is fit for a princess."

Kagome took a quick glance at the setting sun and replied quickly, "No, no. It's perfect. It just needs a few... homey touches."

"Homey touches? Like what?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. There was an odd ripping noise and Kagome was walking towards them with a huge piece of bark.

"A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night."

"You want me to read you a bedtime story?" Shippo asked. "I will."

"_I said good night!"_ Kagome snapped. They both jumped slightly at her tone, and Inuyasha started to move the boulder back.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" Inuyasha faced Shippo chuckling.

"I just-- You know-- Oh come, on. I was just kidding." He walked away.

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"And, uh, that one! That's Throwback... the only demon to jump over three wheat fields." Inuyasha pointed out in the sky. It was well into the evening and Inuyasha was preoccupied with showing the little fox constellations.

"Right, yeah," Shippo stated disbelievingly. "Hey! Can you tell my future from these stars?"

"The stars don't tell the future, kit. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent." Inuyasha chucked. "You can guess what he's famous for."

"Now I know you're making this up," Shippo accused.

"No, look. There he is." Inuyasha drew out the picture in the sky, "and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench."

"That isn't nothing but a bunch of little dots."

"You know, kit, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?" Inuyasha peered at Shippo intently, waiting for a reply. "Forget it," he said when Shippo remained quiet.

Shippo sighed. "Hey, Inuyasha, what are we going to do when we get our swamp anyway?"

"_Our _swamp?"

"You know, when we're through rescuing the princess."

"We? Fox, there's no 'we.' There's no 'our.' There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do is create an unbreakable barrier around my land." Inuyasha rolled over, his back to Shippo.

"That hurts Inuyasha, that really hurts. You know what I think?" Shippo asked, walking over to face Inuyasha. "I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out."

"No, do ya think?" Inuyasha asked sarcastically, rolling over again.

"Are you hiding something?" Shippo inquired as he moved to face Inuyasha again.

"Never mind, kit."

"Oh, this is another on of those onion things, isn't it?"

"No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things."

"Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"Why _do _you want to talk about it?" Inuyasha cried as he rolled over yet again.

Shippo raced to meet his face again. "Why are you blocking?"

"I'm not blocking."

"Oh, yes, you are."

"Fox, I'm warning you."

"Who are you trying to keep out?" Shippo pressed.

"Everyone! Okay?" Inuyasha screamed. Shippo looked a little taken back but then exclaimed, "Oh, now we're getting somewhere."

"Oh! For the love of Kami!" Inuyasha waved his arms around and sat down at the cliff ledge.

"What's your problem Inuyasha? What do you have against the whole world anyway? Huh?"

"Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, 'Ahh! Help! Run! A big, stupidhalf-breed!'" Inuyasha sighed sadly. "They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone."

Shippo felt Inuyasha's sadness and slowly walked over to sit next to him. "You know what? When we met, I didn't think you were just a big, stupid half-demon."

Inuyasha paused momentarily. "Yeah, I know."

"So, uh, are there any kitsunes up there?" Shippo asked, referring to the constellations."

"Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying."

"Okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?"

"That's the moon."

"Oh... okay.

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Inside Kouga's personal chambers it was getting messy, what with all the wedding preparations and matching articles for Kagome and himself. There was a small but beautiful melody playing enchanting the night.

"Again. Show me again." Kouga demanded. The music stopped and rewound. "Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess."

"Hmph," Miroku said annoyed before complying, rewinding a bit more.

Kouga looked at the picture of Kagome in her tower and took a drink of his sake. "Ah. Perfect."

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A/N: Okay, so I've figured out I like to procrastinate and I have a bad memory. Add exam week to that and you have a frantic Fuji. Tomorrow I have my band test and then I go to the library with Kushielle to study forthe math test. Thefinal from last year was 17 pages and took students around 4 hours to complete. Fortunately for us it's been cut down but we still have a lot to study.  
Credit to Kushielle for betaing this chapter.

Review Responses:  
Dark-Black-Wolf: Applaudes my greatness? Well that's a first. I don't believe I'm that great (because it's insane how much my beta fixes it up) but thank you none-the-less,  
omae: Yeah, I see your point. But I think I can work it in the next story(hinthint).  
demonslayer06: The point was when Shippo used his magic to change into a donkey to dissuade the dragon, but I see what you mean. Thanks for the advice, I shall keep it in mind for later.  
CatHanyouNelia: Oo;;; I don't like you... Kouga is awesome, at least when he's in character. I hate when people don't portray his character right, therefore not showing the real Kouga and giving people stuff to poke fun at.  
RockyShoreline: My beta and I debated about that. I wanted green but once she showed me the electric blue she was talking about I couldn't resist.  
abnormally cool: Yes, I like her purification powers. As for the martial arts... Shifty eyes You'll have to read to find out.  
sesshy-can-die: Thank you very much for your review, and I intend on continuing the story. The problem is when I commit myself to actually writing it and then getting Kushielle to beta it for me. Should be easier now that she's got unlimited internet.


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